Last night I felt like my head was about to snap off my shoulders.

I have just FOUR lessons left until my first ballroom competition. It’s all I can think about. I even dream about it at night.

There is no escape.

You know, dancing looks so romantic and graceful and effortless. But when I’m doing it, I feel like every muscle in my body is working overtime. I guess that’s supposed to happen. It shouldn’t be easy. But man, does it hurt.

I ran through the waltz yesterday evening. Accidentally forgot David was in “dance teacher mode” and not “boyfriend mode” and I rolled my eyes at something he said which was a mistake. He was then extra strict for the rest of the 90 minutes and I tried to keep my eyes under control.

The lesson was intense. As well as remembering my steps, I had all sorts of other words shouted at me from every angle. I’ve written them down in a bid to burn them into my brain…

“BANANA” – I need to always look like a banana. Not a fool or a silly person type banana. But person shaped like a banana. It is trickier than it sounds.

“NECK” – David kindly said after a few steps my shoulder comes up and my neck goes all scrunched up, making me look like a goblin. He then did a great impersonation of me as a goblin which I obviously loved.

“SHOULDER BLADES” – I’ve learnt that “shoulder blades down” basically means “tits up”. Now I’ve realised that, it’s not as hard. But it’s bloody hard to maintain. Also when your boyfriend/dance partner has just done a mean impression of you as a goblin, you don’t want to thrust your boobs at him really.

“ELBOWS” – apparently what I think is “elbows up” is not. They should be higher, and they should never ever fall down.

Towards the end of the lesson I even had a scarf tied round my neck, and then David’s elbow, while we danced. So if I stopped being a banana shape, I would effectively strangle and kill myself.

Basically, dancing is a dream and I am in love with it. But it is hard and frustrating and sometimes/often/very frequently painful.

Exactly one month to go until competition day…



Note – I also need to take more photos when I’m training, so I don’t have to use an actual picture of a banana.