Look at this little guy.

Peeking through the window, he’s been resident of our balcony since the beginning of January.

He’s been there so long,  a little spider has built a fairly intricate web amongst the branches. Birds visit to take little bits away for their nests. I think I even saw a squirrel tucking away a pile of acorns at the base (I might be lying about that one).

But I feel like it might be time to say farewell to our 2016 Christmas tree.

He looked so grand back in his prime! We had him pride of place in the centre of the living room.


So magnificent.

But he needs to go. How cruel it would be to put in a brand new tree come December 1 (or mid-November if I get my way again) while our old one sits forlornly on the balcony, battling against the rain, wind and ice.

But how do we get him out??

Tip him off the edge into the car park? No. An accident waiting to happen. We’d scratch a car to death or kill someone.

Carry him through the house and down the lift and into the bin? Messy. I really don’t want to be finding old brown pine needles for the next two years.

Chop him up into a billion pieces and put him in a bag and THEN carry him downstairs? Possibly. But I keep calling it a “him” and I’ve gotten too attached. So that sounds too morbid. I’ll be giving him a name soon…

So, tips needed. How DO you get rid of a year old Christmas tree living on a fifth floor city balcony? That may or may not home several spiders?

Ideas welcome…